THE 7 MOST IMPORTANT STEPS YOU CAN TAKE TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE NOW
Most people believe you shouldn’t have a Harley Davidson in your house.
That’s why I want one in mine. I want to display it in front of a big window so other people can look in and ask, “Why does that guy have a Harley in his living room?” I want it to be a reminder to ignore the opinions of other people. To challenge the opinion of what’s considered “right” and “wrong”.
It’s been my observation that most people live within the confinements of other people’s thinking. They live in a mental cage with walls, ceilings and floors architecture crafted by the opinions of others.
This is how most people think…
If everybody’s doing it – it must be the right thing to do.
If everyone in my peer group is believing, it must be right.
If nobody’s doing it – it must be the wrong thing to do.
Their notion of truth is what most people believe. They don’t think for themselves and their decisions are guided by the invisible hand of public opinion.
How do I know this?
Because this used to be me.
For much of my life I listened to the advice of other people. I guided my decisions by the opinions of others and the generally accepted versions of right and wrong.
Here’s what most people told me:
Go to school, go to college, get a corporate job, work your way up the ladder, save, get married, then buy your first house, and when I recommitted by life to Yeshua (Jesus), they added, get close to God and finish your race well. Everybody I talked to gave me this same advice. My parents, friends, teachers, career advisers, pastors…
I thought “this must be it”. This must be the right thing to do.
I went to college, got a great ministry job and did everything I was supposed to do.
My parents were proud of me, my friends were happy I was on the same page as them, in fact many esteemed me very high on the success ladder because of the organization I worked with. Everyone opened their arms and commended me on my efforts.
There was only one problem…
I didn’t feel right.
I felt like I was wearing a mask and living a lie.
When I put on the mask they wanted me to wear, they accepted me for building my life in their image. People congratulated me, people thought I was successful and I even ran a little ahead of the crowd. I was on their path…
But underneath the mask I knew my life wasn’t all it was hyped up to be.
My life felt dull and soulless. I had no freedom, especially in my job. The people I worked for sucked. After all my expenses living in Manhattan, I didn’t earn enough money to get by. My prayer life…sucked. I was going through the motions of “ministry” and I felt empty inside. I couldn’t ever please my bosses, no matter how hard I tried.
One day I looked around and thought “Is this really it?”
“Is this what the rest of my life is going to be like?”
“Am I going to raise my family under the influence of these horrible people?” (Their family lives…. sucked).
“Is this all God wants for me? To come to work and get beat up by my bosses every day?”
I had impressed everybody in my life except for myself (and my bosses). I had a mask that gave the illusion of success and happiness but not the real thing. It was perception, not reality.
I wondered where I had gone wrong. I listened to the advice of most people and it didn’t do what they said it would. I thought to myself:
“What if most people were wrong?”
“What if there was a better way?”
This was the first time I questioned the public opinion and thought on my own.
I shared my thoughts with my wife. It took her a while to come around, but eventually she began to see what I was seeing.
I decided to quit my job and go my own way.
It was hard.
I started out trying to do what I was trained to do: minister to people
We ended up going to food shelves, living on food stamps, taking low-paying jobs to buy diapers, since we’d run up all our credit cards and couldn’t use them anymore…
I didn’t realize right away that I needed to change the game, do something completely different.
I stayed that way for years.
The moment I chose to go against common advice, society drew down on me like a dark cloud. Everybody I knew doubted me, my parents and in-laws were in horror. It was as if I had committed a cardinal sin.
Two male relatives of my wife took me aside, separately, and read me the riot act about leaving a prestigious New York Company for…welfare?! One was a Christian, the other not.
That’s when I decided to start my own business helping people.
Starting my own business and going against the grain of public opinion was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I had no confidence in myself back then and the opinions of others really got to me and made me doubt my every move.
I made a lot of mistakes, because I never found a mentor or a coach to guide me through this new process.
I persevered and with time and practice my business – writing books – started to succeed. I even started to get speaking engagements.
But it was still peanuts.
I went back to work and found a company that believed in investing in the future of their employees and educating them. I was good at what I did. I was helping people daily. But it wasn’t mine.
My wife went back to school to become a nurse. We started to climb out of poverty.
I still dreamed of being my own boss, helping people, and I couldn’t let it go. There was more to life than a steady, low-wage paycheck.
But you know what? I was a lot happier. So was my wife.
My communication with God was a lot better, too. I could actually hear His voice and understand his direction!
I followed what most people said and it got me nothing.
I ignored the traditional path and the voices of most people, and following God’s dream in my heart put me on a path of freedom, satisfaction and meaning.
This is why I want a Harley Davidson in my house:
It’s a reminder to ignore the opinions of most people and to challenge the public opinion of what’s considered “right” and “wrong”.
(The Good Stuff is Next!)
So how can you apply this to your life right now?
How can you use my story to make a positive change like I did?
Well…as promised, here are THE 7 MOST IMPORTANT STEPS YOU CAN TAKE TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE NOW:
- Don’t be afraid to do something different or go against the path that society and friends/family want for you. Your life is your own and who cares what others think. Make God’s opinion more important than theirs: Isaiah 55:8-9; James 1:2-5 and Philippians 4:4-7 emphasize several truths we need to know and be reminded of
- Understand that madness is more common in crowds than individuals. Just because everybody’s doing it, doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do. The Bible shows us the follow of following them right here: Matthew 7:13
- Question the unquestioned and hold nothing sacred in your pursuit (except your love of God). Some of the best discoveries come from questioning things nobody has dared to question. Proverbs 25:2
- Ask yourself this question everyday: What is something you believe to be true that nobody else agrees with you on? “There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death” (Proverbs 14:12 NIV)
- If you’re following a path of your own and trying something new, avoid the critics and the naysayers. No great discovery comes without criticism, let it galvanize you. “Because of Me, naysayers and doubters will try to make an example out of you by trying you before rulers and kings. When this happens—when you are arrested, dragged to court—don’t worry about what to say or how to say it. The words you should speak will be given to you. For at that moment,it will not be you speaking; it will be the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.” Matthew 10:18-20 The Voice (VOICE)
- Put something controversial in your house, office or bedroom to remind you to think differently and avoid conforming to the opinion of others. Need inspiration? Click Here
- Develop a strong prayer life! The best inspiration comes from God’s Spirit guiding your thoughts and actions. If you don’t know where to start. Click Here.
I hope this helps you on your journey!
Did you find this story valuable?
If so, keep reading!
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More importantly… I’m willing to show you how you can overcome the voices holding you back even faster than I did by applying methods I learned from my journey (HINT: it helps to have someone Coach You).
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What you’ll Get
The first step is yours to make.
It all starts with your free 30-minute Get Unstuck in Your Life Now Session.
Make an appointment by going to my booking site , where you can easily book your first appointment.
Get Unstuck in Your Life Now Session. This session is to give us a chance to meet one another and “kick the tires,” so to speak. This first meeting gives me the opportunity to hear your story and evaluate whether or not I believe I can help you, given my set of skills and what you are looking for. This same first meeting gives you the opportunity to ask me questions and get a feeling for what I offer and whether I will be the right coach for you. At that first meeting, we will review, and perhaps sign, a coaching agreement that outlines such things as confidentiality and initial goals. If, during our first 30-minute session, we agree to move ahead in a coaching relationship…
A typical 30-minute session goes like this: In the context of your goals we have a conversation. It’s not a therapy session. It’s a coaching session, meaning that I won’t just sit there and let you drone on. I’ll be in conversation with you — asking you clarifying questions, helping you hear and see yourself, often challenging your thinking. Remember — we are working on your goals, and moving you forward. At the end of the session, we will agree on your homework — what you will accomplish before our next session.
After your session, I will send you notes reminding you of what we discussed and what you agreed to work on.
There may be reading and writing. I may suggest supplemental texts to move you toward your specific goals.
You will have homework, with 1-5 specific items. The point of our work is to move you forward, which is going to take work on your part.
During the time between sessions, I may check up on you to encourage you, and you are free to be in touch with me by email or text, within reason, to clarify or get help with what you are working on or struggling with.
I meet with my clients every other week. Time gaps of more than two weeks tend to seriously decrease the effectiveness of our coaching relationship.
Commitment. I require a commitment of 6-12 months to be completely confident that you are 100% on track with your goals. Shorter or Longer commitments can be negotiated on an “as needed basis.”
“TOV Rose is a man of GOD. He is a hard worker and his results promise not to disappoint. I recommend this man and his work to the fullest.” ~ Elizabeth Bennett, M.Ed. Author, Speaker and Consultant
“TOV is an incredibly talented and gifted man full of love and compassion for his fellow man. He is a trusted friend who always has time to spend encouraging and giving balanced advice. His love of family and his love of God is apparent in his life through the way he lives and by the way he chooses to serve those who usually have trouble finding people to trust due to their high visibility. Be blessed and get to know this amazing man!” ~ Robert Fick, President at Cross Cultural Communications
“It would be very easy to pen a glowing recommendation of TOV, for he is a wonderfully gifted, gregarious and caring visionary with a wide record of achievements. Instead, permit me to say that to know TOV is to love TOV. If you have the opportunity to work with him, count your blessings. I can think of no higher endorsement for this remarkable human being, colleague, family man, true believer and friend. His is a steady shop with a shining light in an ocean of struggling souls!” ~ Jimmy Holloway, Senior Managing Partner at Star Harbor Investments & Star Harbor Films
“I have had the pleasure of knowing Tōv for over a year and have found him dedicated, loyal and trustworthy. A skilled communicator, he has excellent rapport with people of all ages and backgrounds. Tōv is always there to give support, encouragement and impartial, non-judgmental advice and handles difficult situations with thoughtfulness, tact and genuine sympathy. Intelligent and capable, he is a valuable asset to any community or team.” ~ Jen Govey, Motion Pictures: Film Consultant & Screenwriter
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Make a 30-minute appointment by going to my booking site where you can easily book your first appointment.
Why Not NOW?
Many of us procrastinate. We all come up with reasons it isn’t a good time to do something that will make our lives better in the long run. I get it. I’ve done it. I’ve been there. The words of other spoken over you most of your life are playing in your head when they’re not even with you. Imagine how your life might be different in a few short months…?
If you’re tired of being where you are, then
Make an appointment by going to my booking site , where you can easily book your first 30-minute appointment and we’ll see if we’re a good fit to work together.